The Guardian And The Angel
by Morphing Kashi
Summary: It was a New Year's party in the Hokage Tower and everyone was happy - no, not everyone, Kakashi noticed. The sight of Naruto made him frown.


It was the New Year's Party and every shinobi in Konoha was present. It had been decided that they would all celebrate the coming of the New Year together – it had been a habit ever since Tsunade had become the Hokage.

The mood was celebratory and a happy laughter was heard more often than not. The walls and the halls were decorated accordingly; vivid colors trying to catch the eye and beautiful patterns competing each other in an unofficial contest of beauty.

Kakashi was observing silently; his face always hidden behind the mask and the rest of him blending with the shadows – after all, there were many convenient corners in the Hokage Tower, even with all this fiesta going on.

He could easily discern a slightly drunk Asuma flirting in the open with Kurenai – it seemed that they had decided to reveal their devoted relationship to the world, after three long secretive years - , a more drunk Gai trying to find Kakashi in order to engage him in another meaningless contest but failing miserably, Asuma and Kotetsu playing pranks on their friends and Tsunade indulging in the divine pleasure that was sake along with her old teammate, Jiraiya.

The rookie 9 – no, 8; Sasuke was still in Orochimaru's hands – and Gai's old team were also there. Even Naruto had come back a few days ago from his training with the legendary Sannin. Speaking of which, he hadn't expected it to happen, but he had kind of missed the blond.

His loudmouthed and straightforward attitude; his determination and will to never give up; his dream of recognition by the very own village that had shunned him. He was a very interesting persona, attracting people wherever he would go and making them shine a bit brighter, claiming a little bit of his own light for themselves. And he would give it wholeheartedly, because he was selfless like that and his heart was made of pure gold.

He smiled faintly. Naruto was the warmest person he had ever been close to; a small shining sun to all those around him, lightening their path and brightening their lives. He hadn't seen him much after he had come back, but it seemed like he had matured a bit. He was still the same warm sun that he was before; but now his radiating warmth was more inner than outer and his smile seemed slightly restrained.

Deciding to catch up with his old student and shoo away the sudden feeling of nostalgia that overwhelmed him, he scanned the vast hall, trying to spot him. Merely moments later, being the trained shinobi that he was, he found his target; however, the sight before his eye made him frown.

He was alone. The rest of his old friends were partying and teasing each other, the smiles bright upon their young faces, enjoying the moments of their flaming youth, as Gai would have put it, while he was sitting in a far away corner quietly, observing intensely what seemed to be the patterns on the floor. Something was terribly wrong. Naruto was never moody like this.

Silently and stealthily ( for old habits die hard ), Kakashi moved to the other corner of the room, managing to evade Gai and his senseless ranting and every other jounin or chuunin that would possibly try to chat with him, ending up a few feet away from his missed old student. Ducking beside Naruto as if it was the most normal thing in the world, he voiced quietly.

"Interesting patterns."

The young teen jumped, the surprise evident in his features and his look bewildered – apparently, he hadn't sensed him coming.

"Kakashi-sensei? What are you doing here?"

The jounin curved his single visible eye upwards, trying to seem like the most carefree man in the world.

"Nothing really. You?"

Naruto lowered his head again, mumbling something about New Year parties and an old hag making him come. It was clear to Kakashi now that something was troubling him deeply; there was no other way Naruto would have not liked being among so many people – many of which were his old friends. Quickly making up his mind, he grabbed Naruto by the hand and dragged him outside, to the balcony.

The moon was shining brightly – it was almost full - , sending it's gentle but eerie at the same time glow all over Konoha. Taking his time, Kakashi looked at the stars. The sky was filled with them; looking like some very beautiful diamond jewel that once a Goddess was wearing; but now it was left alone hanging in the dark, lingering behind and waiting for the time to come and be worn again.

He did not bother to look at Naruto. He knew that the blond would avoid his gaze. His deep, masculine voice echoed in the cold air.

"What is it that is bothering you, Naruto?"

Before the young man had the chance to speak however, he added as an afterthought, his voice soft, but firm at the same time.

"The truth."

Silence. And the faint cries of the nighttime birds in the distance. He was afraid that this would happen. He guessed he had no other choice but to face him, then. Slowly turning around, he found himself face to face with his former student. He was a man now; grown up and matured, tall and lean and handsome like an angel.

An angel he had failed to save when it was needed; he still remembered vividly the day he had arrived at the Valley of the End, only to see one battered and half-dead body behind. If it wasn't for Kyuubi's healing powers, Naruto would have died back then. Because he had not been fast enough. In the end, it seemed that he never was fast enough.

"You are asking _me_, Kakashi-sensei, but it seems that _you_ are bothered by something as well."

He was slightly surprised; yes, it was true, he had let his reverie take him back and had forgotten about the present laying in front of him – along with the man in front of him. Recomposing himself, he applied the same bored expression and nonchalant attitude everyone knew him about.

"We were talking about you, if I'm not mistaken."

There was nothing that his eye could miss; it could penetrate souls fast like the light and see through lies like looking behind a glass. Showing that he was serious, he diverted all his attention to Naruto and gave him a very deep gaze, waiting for a reply.

The young man shifted his eyes to the moon, trying to avoid his former sensei's gaze. It hurt. He loved him so much, that it hurt.

From the first day they had met, he had wanted to see what was lying behind the mask. Pure curiosity had turned into sheer fascination; who was really Kakashi? Why was he always like that? Why would he never let anyone close? What had happened to him in the past? Fascination had turned into intoxication. He had wanted to be near the jounin as much as possible, in order to decipher some of his inner thoughts and feelings – but as always, to no avail. Intoxication had turned into fixation.

Somewhere along the line, fixation had turned into affection – he had found out about Kakashi's painful past by asking Jiraiya on some restless nights when the Sannin was drunk and loose, and he had felt really sorry about him. He had wanted to protect him from losing someone close to him again, because he had been his sensei, and Naruto wanted him to be happy.

And finally, affection had matured and deepened during the few years that he had been away, like the grape juice that slowly becomes sinfully sweet wine and the ugly caterpillar that gradually transforms itself into a truly beautiful and pure butterfly.

He bit his lip, trying to fight back the urge to tear. What he was feeling was wrong. He knew that; when he would wake up full of sweat during the night, after an arousing and tempting dream; when he would recall the beautiful times they had had together as members of Team 7; when he would crave for the feeling of being in Kakashi's arms just one more time, like when they had been proposed for the chuunin exam; when, during the last few days of his return, he would try to avoid the jounin because he was afraid that his feelings would be discovered.

When, only a few moments ago, when Kakashi grabbed his hand, his heart bounced and a tingling sensation spread itself all over his limb. When his heart would clutch whenever he would see him chatting nonchalantly or friendly with someone – wishing he was that someone instead. And something more than a simple friend or former student. He knew it was wrong.

And still, those feelings he could not escape. They were hunting him down, binding him in every way possible, leaving no way out. Resistance was futile; there was no escape. He felt cheap and dirty deep inside. Because it was wrong and everyone knew that. But… he could not change the likings of his heart.

He could not face Kakashi now. Not now. Not like this. Not ever. He slowly turned his back to the other man, fighting with all his might to not plunge himself deep within the jounin's warm embrace and shed warm tears, and walked away.

This celebration truly meant nothing for him if he would not be able to celebrate it with the man he loved; he let the laughter die and the songs fade away, the sounds reaching his ears but never his heart, and left the building. It would be midnight soon. But to him, it didn't matter. This year would find him alone. Again.

Kakashi silently let Naruto walk away, watching in grief his former student's shadow shrinking in the distance. There was a turmoil in the other man's heart; ithat/i, he knew. But he did not know the cause of that deep sorrow and he was aching to find it out. It truly hurt him deep inside to see Naruto that way. Whoever had done that to him would pay. And he would pay hard – Kakashi would make sure of that.

For now, he had a couple of questions to ask Jiraiya – he would speak with Naruto again tomorrow. And one of these days, he would settle the matter – whatever it was that was troubling him – and have the good, old, joyful Naruto back again. A small sigh left his cloth-covered lips, now one with the passing breeze, no sign of it's existence ever remaining. …One of these days.


End file.
